Have you ever felt like the universe is doing it’s damnedest to prevent you from enjoying the things you most want to spend time on? Ever tried to get on with your to-do list and have a million things dumped in your lap that needed sorting yesterday? Ever felt so sure your body is going to collapse under the strain of illness and life stress, that getting out of bed feels utterly pointless?
I should probably tell you that, right now, my hand is stretching itself towards the sky, giving a little wave and shouting ever so annoyingly “Me! Me! MEEEE!”. Yes, life has well and truly kicked my butt and writing has had to take a backseat for the better part of a year! Yes, you read that correctly. Almost an ENTIRE year! Where is that horror stricken emoji face when I need one?
The last blog post I wrote, was published in March a year ago and, looking back over the year I’ve had, I’m not entirely surprised there hasn’t been a peep out of me since. I’m not going to go into details, except to say: I’ve had plenty of good, happy days filled with fun and the things memories are made of, a few too many busy ones full of challenges and deadlines, and then, a whole truckload of the kind where you just want to go to bed and wake up tomorrow, or next week, or perhaps even next year. Looks like I accomplished the last – at least where any form of writing is concerned!
I’m sat looking out the window and spring seems to be on it’s way. The days are getting brighter and I spotted the first crocuses peeping out between the withered brown strands of last years grass yesterday. The world is waking up from it’s long winter nap and I suppose I’m a little envious of it’s ability to start over, clean and bright and eager. What is it with spring that has me feeling like we’re all due for a fresh start?
We’ve had a bleak and unusually snow-free winter this year. Dark, yes. Cold, yes. But instead of the muffled peace that a good snowfall provides, we’ve had rain and a dreary greyness that has dulled even the most cheerful souls. My kids have been decidedly miffed at the lack of snow filled fun. My dog has taken to hanging his head and venturing out reluctantly for his cold, wet walks. And me? I’ve claimed the spot closest to the fireplace and indulged in an endless stream of hot cups of tea, whilst binge-watching yet another tv-series and knitting away the winter evenings.
With warmer weather right around the corner, I’m allowing myself to hope that soon we’ll be able to plant the herbs and veggies we’ve been planning and set out the garden furniture. Warmer weather means less layers going out, oh and note to self: the need for new clothes for my kids that grow like weeds!
As for writing…. I need to read through the chapters I finished last year and take stock, I think. I have a good friend who’s eagerly waiting for the continuation of a story she fell in love with last year. I have chapters she hasn’t even seen yet and I plan to send everything over to her as soon as possible and see what she thinks. Her feedback has been great and I can’t tell you the effect it has had on my confidence! Once that’s done, I should know at least where I am and can plan what to do next.
So, for now, my focus will be taking it easy so I can get back on my feet again and hopefully back on track with writing. I’m by no means out of the woods with everything that’s been dumped on me lately, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t want to feel broken anymore and give up on the dreams I’ve held onto for so long. Let’s see what happens from here on out!
I wish you all a pleasant spring day wherever you are!
And happy writing!